Yes obviously I'm kinda obssessed with that straightening cream thing. Why? Cos it actually works really well with my hair. My hair's a picky bitch so it's pretty hard to actually look for a product that suits my hair, but this one surprisingly does. Oh well, nuff bout my hair.

AND NOT TO MENTION!!! My new laptop. Dell XPS in pink (: Happy happy days. I actually got it last Monday, the day after the day I was supposed to get it. But now that I have it, I've been happier HAHA. I finally get to have my own laptop and a place where I can blog and do my assignments anytime I want in private.

Life has been pretty much hectic for me lately. There's been problems with the BF and school as well. I'm just trynna keep up with everything now. Our 2nd year annie's coming up soon. It's this Friday actually, 1st MAY '07. We've been having major problems though reccently (recently meaning just now in the afternoon after school). We fought about me falling asleep on him last night. I actually had a very tiring day yesterday, so logically I fell asleep straight away after I got home from his house and he got all mad just cos I overslept. Yeah, although I did wake up around 5.37am which meant we didn't get to talk all night, doesn't the daily visits to my college and his house count??

He keeps saying tha he need to see me often and he does everything for a reason. Too good of a reason I'm betting. I couldn't take the constant control anymore, it's like he's suffocating me so much that the urge to breath just takes all control over me. I can't take the constant sneaking out and shutting up anymore. I want to have my own voice. No matter how many times he tells me that he's doing all this cos he loves me, it's like hearing your parents say it. It just loses all meaning. I wanna leave, but I can't. Something keeps telling me that no other man can love me as much as him and I'm not even gonna deny it. I just wish he would understand what I feel right now and give me the space I need. Even a little bit would be nice.

I really don't know how much longer I can stand going back to him and going through the same ordeal again. Yeah we fight, but we end up making up again, and why? Cos I go back to him. He asks me why I can't leave him when I keep saying that I'm that close to walking out. My answer's this. Cos I can't take the drama anymore. Break ups lead to tears and pain. I don't need that right now and I'm terrified of the consequences. The last time I left, it brought me pain and a lot of drama. I can't take that shit right now, I just don't have time for none of that.

So for now, I'll just sit and smile like everything's ok when deep inside I know that one day everything's gonn blow up in either his or my face. Either way it's still gonna be a loss. A lose-lose situation...Don't y'all hate that kinda BS?

Other than that, college has been a bitch as well. Assignments have been piling up and tests are just flowing like a never ending river. I'm seriously just waiting for the 2nd term holidays to come along, but the next one's in June. Wow....so close...pfft!

I'm fucking sleepy now, so it's off to bed til later. Nights! and ciao bello.

&&blame it on the alcohol